We’ve Got The Power


Happy International Women’s Day! 

First, let’s get the elephant out of the room.  As many of you know, whether it be by knowing me personally or just reading my blog, I am a fan of President Trump.  I’ve gotten a lot of hate for that, being I’m also an absolute feminist.  So let’s just make one thing clear – you can in fact be both.  I am.  Yes, President Trump isn’t perfect and may have said things in the past that were offensive to women.  However, he has apologized multiple times, his companies are still one of the top few that employ the highest number of women, he did raise Ivanka Trump (who is an intelligent, bad ass, great role model for girls), and he is in no way working against the female gender while president.

That being said, I absolutely support the Times Up and #MeToo movement, but I don’t think it should be an anti-Trump movement.  Some people have taken it that way, and that truly saddens me.  If that’s where they’ve taken it, then they’ve missed the point entirely.  A feminist means you believe and want equality, it doesn’t mean you’re against men or that you only stand behind women.  My argument to everyone who said that I couldn’t possibly be a feminist because I wasn’t supporting Hillary Clinton is this: I am such a feminist, that I am not going to side with a woman simply because she’s a woman.  If we are in fact choosing to be seen as equal, then I can judge both candidates at the same equal level playing field; which I did.  In my opinion, Trump was/is better suited to run this country.  That in no way erases my feminist title.

I really don’t want this piece to be political, so I will leave it at that.  But because of all the backlash I have gotten since fully supporting Trump, I felt it had to be discussed.  And I do think it’s important to also remember that the movements going on right now are far bigger than politics.  They have nothing to do with politics and everything to do with people’s attitudes, way of thinking, and perspective.

So, moving on…

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I feel like this piece has to be different this year as compared to my other IWD pieces because women have made a lot of strides over the past year.  With the Time’s Up Movement and the #MeToo campaign, voices that should never have been silenced in the first place became louder than ever imagined.  It’s a powerful thing, drawing light to horrible situations that were at one point in history deemed “normal.” It’s a powerful thing to come forward and tell your story, especially if it’s one you never spoke about.  I think for the first time in a while, this movement led to celebrities using their platform correctly.  Whether they were brave enough to share the details of their own story or simply just support the movement, they got people talking.  They started a global conversation that inspired others to step forward, voice their experience, and begin their own healing process.

These movements have given us women some of the power we were stripped of since the beginning of time, simply because we weren’t born as a male.  For some women, all they’ve ever known was a power struggle.  Whether it be the power to be the CEO, the power to be seen as a life  partner rather than a maid/cook, the power to speak up and voice opinions; it’s power that society has always told us we didn’t have.  They’ve done a damn good job following through with that over the years, there’s no doubt there.  But I’m not sure if we ever stopped to think about the power that we have inside ourselves to combat it….up until now.

We have the power to change the way people to speak to us.  We have to stop talking down to one another and thinking it’s okay.  This will just make men think it’s okay to talk down to us.  Same thing with name calling, fat shaming, and style hating.  If we accept women being mean to each other, men won’t think twice about being mean too.

We have the power to say no.  I hope that even the quietest person remembers that they can yell if they need or want to.  I hope they remember that their voice matters, and that no man’s voice is greater just because it’s deeper.

We have the power to learn from our experiences.  When someone faces a challenge, they have two choices. They can choose to be a victim, or they can use the challenge as fuel to create change.  What I think makes women really remarkable is the fact that as a whole, I think we choose the latter every single time.

We have the power to impact change.  Though it’s a shame to have to go through an unfavorable experience, it’s a blessing to be able to take it, learn from it, and help others going through the same thing.

We have the power to stick together and create a force.  Perhaps the strongest weapon in this world is a girl and her girlfriends.  Some girls can be friends with everyone, while others have a select few that they mesh with.  It’s important to understand that you don’t have to be friends with every girl in order to have a respect for every girl and their girlfriend group.  That genuine respect makes a force that can’t be touched, broken, or negated.

I think this movement that we’re in the midst of is the result of women finally realizing their own power. 

Let today act as a reminder that we’ve finally got the mic.  The ball is finally in our court.  The time for male bullshit is finally up.  Let it also act as a reminder that the power within us will always prove to be greater than the challenge ahead of us.

We’ve just begun.




How It Feels…


March 8th is International Women’s Day!  As a proud feminist, this is a big deal of a day for me.  And this year, I’m going to celebrate it by shedding some light on what it feels like to be a woman.

Equality for women is something that has come a long way, but it still has a long way to go. Internationally, how it feels to be a woman is how it feels to be fearful.

Every single day there are women in the world who have to fear being able to walk to their car alone at night, because they might get attacked.  There are women who have to watch which outfit they put on, because that could give off the wrong idea to a misogynist.  There are women who have to keep their faces covered, because they might get arrested.  There are women who have to keep their mouth closed and let a man take advantage of her, because if they don’t they will be killed.  Still think women’s rights don’t have a long way to go?

It’s sad that the general consensus of what it feels like to be a woman isn’t something that proves to be worthwhile.  Yet often times what us women forget, is that we have the power to break boundaries, end stigmas, and create change.  Though this may take longer in certain places in the world, in America we can start the domino effect.

In America, we are fortunate enough to not have to worry about being arrested for speaking up or showing our face; but we aren’t out of the clear.  We are still instilled with fear about going places at night, wearing an outfit that may give off the wrong idea, walking somewhere alone, sexual harassment at work, etcetera.  But, the difference is that in America we can speak up about these things and not let it define us.


For starters, we can choose to not let people use the phrase “like a girl,” to refer to someone as weaker than a man.  The phrase “like a girl” will only ever mean like a badass to me.  We can choose to not let people use the phrase “being a pussy,” to refer to someone who’s being a wimp.  Not to get graphic but a “pussy” is capable of pushing out a child, so please tell me how that is wimpy.  We can choose to not let our “no” go unheard.  If a guy wants our name, our number, our body – we can choose to say no and say it loudly, for all to hear.

How it feels to be a woman shouldn’t ever feel like a problem.  Being a woman should feel like you have the power to dictate your own life, and that’s where the idea of feminism comes into play.  You see, being for women’s rights doesn’t make you against men; it makes you for equal rights.

So as a feminist, I choose how I want to be represented.  And for me, I choose to be strong, determined, ambitious, driven, and completely kick-ass.

So now let me ask you, how does it feel to be a woman?  Is your answer living up to your full potential?  Better yet, is your answer benefiting the women who are not able to even answer the question?  If it doesn’t, I suggest you change it.

Justice for all women is something we will only ever achieve if we work together in working on ourselves.



Girls just want to have fun….damental rights!


We Are What We Believe


Happy International Women’s Day!

I know that most people believe that simply because it is 2014 that the gender bias is nonexistent.  Well, that’s not the case.  Though I’m fortunate enough to live in America, where equal opportunities are encouraged, it doesn’t necessarily mean everyone agrees.

I would bet that just about any girl in her twenties could tell you a story about a time she felt judged simply because of her gender.  I’m a girl who loves sports, and I can sit back and debate baseball with the guys.  But has my sports knowledge been underestimated simply because I’m a girl?  Yes, it has.  And has a guy completely ignored my opinion on something sports related or otherwise, just because I am a girl?  Yes, they have.

Now although the blame can indeed be placed on the men in this society, it can equally be placed on the women.

Men, you all need to wake up and smell the roses.  Anything you can do, we can do… better.  However, ladies, you’re not all setting that example.

You allow what you tolerate.  And unfortunately I see, too often, girls that tolerate being treated poorly.  They are disrespected either by being cheated on, talked down to, or looked at as simply a piece to have.  And in those cases, most girls do not speak up and defend themselves and their gender as a whole.  Why is this?  Self esteem is the first issue, and the second is because for so long women who speak up have been stereotyped as a “bitch.”  Who’s fault is this?  Society as a whole?  Yes, partially.  But why are we, as women, accepting such nonsense?

Women spend so much time bringing other women down, simply to raise their confidence level, and it’s disgusting.  You would think that because all women share the same historical struggle that we would empower one another today, right?  Instead women are judging each other by petty things; clothes, make-up, Instagram posts.  It needs to stop.

What also needs to stop though is women’s need to feel accepted by a man.  This comes from low self esteem issues from being judged by their peers.  Do not subject yourself to be looked at as something less than an intelligent human being with equal rights.  That means don’t post photos that may be mistaken as an ad for a porno site. You’re not doing yourself any good.  You’re putting yourself in a position to be disrespected and seen as a pretty face rather than a beautiful mind and soul.  You are worth so much more than you think, don’t strive to get attention based on sexual seduction, that’s cheap.

Respect yourself.  Bottom line.  If you don’t, no one else, women peers or men, will think they have to.  Are you allowing yourself to be disrespected?  If you are, it is never too late to make a statement and change it.  You are only confined by the walls you build yourself, remember you also drive the bulldozer.  Respect yourself enough to realize you have no restrictions, especially none based on gender.

Another thing that has to happen is women need to stop fearing names.  The way I see it, a bitch is a female dog.  A female dog is a loving, caring, independent, intelligent animal, who when messed with too much has the power and tools to bark or bite.  So to some guys, because I speak up, I’m a bitch?  Sure I am; because I am independent, loyal, and caring, but if you push me – I can promise you will be pushed right back.  Go ahead, continue calling me a bitch.  I dare you.

So to my fellow women of the world, start a chain reaction.  Empower one another, examine what you tolerate, respect yourselves.  Dare to stand up, dare to be loud, dare to be called a bitch.  If we don’t allow for nonsense from one another, or from ourselves, men will get the message.  We are what we believe.  Men will have no choice to believe that we are equal and treat us as such, if we truly believe that ourselves.

For ways to achieve equality, check out Take The Lead Women on Facebook and follow @TakeLeadWomen on Twitter!