We’ve Got The Power

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Happy International Women’s Day! 

First, let’s get the elephant out of the room.  As many of you know, whether it be by knowing me personally or just reading my blog, I am a fan of President Trump.  I’ve gotten a lot of hate for that, being I’m also an absolute feminist.  So let’s just make one thing clear – you can in fact be both.  I am.  Yes, President Trump isn’t perfect and may have said things in the past that were offensive to women.  However, he has apologized multiple times, his companies are still one of the top few that employ the highest number of women, he did raise Ivanka Trump (who is an intelligent, bad ass, great role model for girls), and he is in no way working against the female gender while president.

That being said, I absolutely support the Times Up and #MeToo movement, but I don’t think it should be an anti-Trump movement.  Some people have taken it that way, and that truly saddens me.  If that’s where they’ve taken it, then they’ve missed the point entirely.  A feminist means you believe and want equality, it doesn’t mean you’re against men or that you only stand behind women.  My argument to everyone who said that I couldn’t possibly be a feminist because I wasn’t supporting Hillary Clinton is this: I am such a feminist, that I am not going to side with a woman simply because she’s a woman.  If we are in fact choosing to be seen as equal, then I can judge both candidates at the same equal level playing field; which I did.  In my opinion, Trump was/is better suited to run this country.  That in no way erases my feminist title.

I really don’t want this piece to be political, so I will leave it at that.  But because of all the backlash I have gotten since fully supporting Trump, I felt it had to be discussed.  And I do think it’s important to also remember that the movements going on right now are far bigger than politics.  They have nothing to do with politics and everything to do with people’s attitudes, way of thinking, and perspective.

So, moving on…

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I feel like this piece has to be different this year as compared to my other IWD pieces because women have made a lot of strides over the past year.  With the Time’s Up Movement and the #MeToo campaign, voices that should never have been silenced in the first place became louder than ever imagined.  It’s a powerful thing, drawing light to horrible situations that were at one point in history deemed “normal.” It’s a powerful thing to come forward and tell your story, especially if it’s one you never spoke about.  I think for the first time in a while, this movement led to celebrities using their platform correctly.  Whether they were brave enough to share the details of their own story or simply just support the movement, they got people talking.  They started a global conversation that inspired others to step forward, voice their experience, and begin their own healing process.

These movements have given us women some of the power we were stripped of since the beginning of time, simply because we weren’t born as a male.  For some women, all they’ve ever known was a power struggle.  Whether it be the power to be the CEO, the power to be seen as a life  partner rather than a maid/cook, the power to speak up and voice opinions; it’s power that society has always told us we didn’t have.  They’ve done a damn good job following through with that over the years, there’s no doubt there.  But I’m not sure if we ever stopped to think about the power that we have inside ourselves to combat it….up until now.

We have the power to change the way people to speak to us.  We have to stop talking down to one another and thinking it’s okay.  This will just make men think it’s okay to talk down to us.  Same thing with name calling, fat shaming, and style hating.  If we accept women being mean to each other, men won’t think twice about being mean too.

We have the power to say no.  I hope that even the quietest person remembers that they can yell if they need or want to.  I hope they remember that their voice matters, and that no man’s voice is greater just because it’s deeper.

We have the power to learn from our experiences.  When someone faces a challenge, they have two choices. They can choose to be a victim, or they can use the challenge as fuel to create change.  What I think makes women really remarkable is the fact that as a whole, I think we choose the latter every single time.

We have the power to impact change.  Though it’s a shame to have to go through an unfavorable experience, it’s a blessing to be able to take it, learn from it, and help others going through the same thing.

We have the power to stick together and create a force.  Perhaps the strongest weapon in this world is a girl and her girlfriends.  Some girls can be friends with everyone, while others have a select few that they mesh with.  It’s important to understand that you don’t have to be friends with every girl in order to have a respect for every girl and their girlfriend group.  That genuine respect makes a force that can’t be touched, broken, or negated.

I think this movement that we’re in the midst of is the result of women finally realizing their own power. 

Let today act as a reminder that we’ve finally got the mic.  The ball is finally in our court.  The time for male bullshit is finally up.  Let it also act as a reminder that the power within us will always prove to be greater than the challenge ahead of us.

We’ve just begun.

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How It Feels…

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March 8th is International Women’s Day!  As a proud feminist, this is a big deal of a day for me.  And this year, I’m going to celebrate it by shedding some light on what it feels like to be a woman.

Equality for women is something that has come a long way, but it still has a long way to go. Internationally, how it feels to be a woman is how it feels to be fearful.

Every single day there are women in the world who have to fear being able to walk to their car alone at night, because they might get attacked.  There are women who have to watch which outfit they put on, because that could give off the wrong idea to a misogynist.  There are women who have to keep their faces covered, because they might get arrested.  There are women who have to keep their mouth closed and let a man take advantage of her, because if they don’t they will be killed.  Still think women’s rights don’t have a long way to go?

It’s sad that the general consensus of what it feels like to be a woman isn’t something that proves to be worthwhile.  Yet often times what us women forget, is that we have the power to break boundaries, end stigmas, and create change.  Though this may take longer in certain places in the world, in America we can start the domino effect.

In America, we are fortunate enough to not have to worry about being arrested for speaking up or showing our face; but we aren’t out of the clear.  We are still instilled with fear about going places at night, wearing an outfit that may give off the wrong idea, walking somewhere alone, sexual harassment at work, etcetera.  But, the difference is that in America we can speak up about these things and not let it define us.

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For starters, we can choose to not let people use the phrase “like a girl,” to refer to someone as weaker than a man.  The phrase “like a girl” will only ever mean like a badass to me.  We can choose to not let people use the phrase “being a pussy,” to refer to someone who’s being a wimp.  Not to get graphic but a “pussy” is capable of pushing out a child, so please tell me how that is wimpy.  We can choose to not let our “no” go unheard.  If a guy wants our name, our number, our body – we can choose to say no and say it loudly, for all to hear.

How it feels to be a woman shouldn’t ever feel like a problem.  Being a woman should feel like you have the power to dictate your own life, and that’s where the idea of feminism comes into play.  You see, being for women’s rights doesn’t make you against men; it makes you for equal rights.

So as a feminist, I choose how I want to be represented.  And for me, I choose to be strong, determined, ambitious, driven, and completely kick-ass.

So now let me ask you, how does it feel to be a woman?  Is your answer living up to your full potential?  Better yet, is your answer benefiting the women who are not able to even answer the question?  If it doesn’t, I suggest you change it.

Justice for all women is something we will only ever achieve if we work together in working on ourselves.

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Girls just want to have fun….damental rights!

 

Titles

053397b9700ce5fda7afa756b370d36aIn life we all have many titles.  Whether that be student, employee, friend, child.  Society tends to judge us based on the titles we hold.  If you’re the CEO, it’s assumed you’re living a life where you’re well off and you don’t have a care in the world.  If you have a low income job it’s assumed you didn’t go to college.  If you’re a college athlete, it’s assumed you’re arrogant.  If you’re a supporter of equal rights, it’s assumed you’re homosexual.  If you’re a woman, it’s assumed you’re not and never will be equal to men.  And if you’re a feminist, you automatically hate men.

Today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day, and I’m taking it as a day to express what a feminist really is.  Too many people fear the word feminist, or are afraid to embrace the title.  Women especially are afraid to embrace the title of feminist, because it is known that you will be looked at in a different light.  Although radical feminists feel that in order for women to get equality they must break down the men in the world; that’s not the only form of a feminist.  I associate myself with being a liberal feminist, meaning I think everyone was born equally and deserves the same rights.  I wear many titles in my life, but perhaps the one I wear most proudly is that of a feminist.

So why am I a feminist?  Even though I shouldn’t have to explain, I will.  This patriarchal society is intended to intimidate women and I refuse to be a victim.  Every woman and I deserve the same rights as any man in this world.  So hell yes I am a feminist.  Need more explanation as to why?  Because we all work the same jobs, the same hours, with the same determination and ethic.  Because we all deserve to live a life without fear, a life without worrying about being a part of the statistics.  Because we all deserve to be able to walk to our car in the dark without fear of being attacked, raped, or left for dead.  Because we all deserve to be able to dress nicely and not worry about being hit on or taken advantage of.  Because we all deserve to be respected.

When you wear the title of being a woman, you need to understand that you hold the title of being an underdog.  So use this to your advantage… fight like the underdog, finish like the champion.  Today on International Women’s Day, I urge all women to embrace the titles they hold.  Embrace the strength within each title, especially the one of being a woman.  The power for change is based on how much you’re willing to fight for.  Your title is far stronger than you think.

I am a feminist; I wear the title proudly.  Happy International Women’s Day!


33c88d72e2c3baf54f084b61fc8f6f1dSpecial thank you to all the strong women in my life who encourage me to step up my game; especially to Superwoman – my Mom.

Men-tality

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One of my nicknames is Miss Independent.  I have loads of self respect.  I won’t tolerate nonsense.  I will not keep calm and be quiet.  I will voice my opinion.  I will hold my own in a sports conversation, and probably know more about the Yankees than you do.  I will stand for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone.  So, I guess somehow that means I’ll intimidate you and your inflated ego in some way, right?  Yes, I’m talking to you college guys out there.

I have noticed that majority of guys in my college age level are intimidated by strong, independent women like myself.  They are overwhelmed by the thought that some women, like me for example, truly do not need them to validate their existence.  Guys can’t handle that they’re not seen as the dominant one who holds the power card.  And because of this, I’ve noticed that some girls, too many girls, are dumbing themselves down.  They are trying to appear clingy, needy, or like a damsel in distress who needs “saving” in hopes of getting a guy to stick around.  

Well, to my fellow ladies of the world, as the current expression goes… “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”  

The way you treat yourself directly influences the way anyone else will treat you.  If you have respect for yourself, people are going to recognize that you are not someone that can be taken advantage of and made out to look like a fool.  If you allow your intelligence to be known, people will not treat you like a joke.  If you communicate that you are fully capable of handling whatever life throws at you, people will take notice and admire you.  If you’re a good human being and have standards, people are going to want to get to know you, and they’re going to start working to get to your level.  Guys may be scared of women who exemplify such traits, but that does not make it okay for any girl to be okay with being “any girl.”  Girls need to stop acting out the role they think the guy wants them to play.

It seems to me that most guys think the perfect girl is one who does not eat, doesn’t question anything they say, does not take part in sports conversations with them and their “boys,” doesn’t embrace a challenge, isn’t ever seen without make up …and preferably looks like Barbie, in any form.  Well, boys – you need to reevaluate your little fantasies.  Those girls that most of you describe as perfection, are ones that either don’t exist or don’t succeed.  The girls you think you want to be with now, are the ones who will be working for the girls you see as too outspoken, too direct, or too upfront.  Oh and boys, you should also note that the girls you claim are just friends, that you always go back to, because you do care, but you’re too afraid to date them (because you know they can hold their own), are often the girls that could change your life for the better.  How are those superficial dream girls looking now?  A little less appealing? 

Seriously, females of the world… if we dumb ourselves down and start changing who we are for males, we are ultimately slapping Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony in the face.  We are disregarding all of their blood, sweat, and tears that went into the mission to get women seen as equal to men.  Let’s face it, women are still not seen as fully and completely one hundred percent equal to men yet.  So, to my generation of girls – do you really want to be held responsible for further dampening equality of both genders?  I don’t think so.  Pull yourself together.  Straighten up and straighten out your mentality (or should I say men-tality… pardon the pun).

Listen ladies, the real man that you want to be with is the one man who feels he doesn’t deserve you.  Remember, a real superman is one who is not afraid to stand next to a superwoman.