Four years ago today, July 20, 2009, what I thought would be a minor setback ended up altering my entire life. Knee surgery.
You can read my past blogs, which discuss my knee issues, my love of dance, and how the two factors seem to be at a constant war with each other.
I got surgery in hopes of being able to dance again. Truly thinking that I was going to be all fixed, back and better than ever before. Clearly, it didn’t happen that way. So, every year, on this anniversary, I’m always a little down and disappointed, still shocked that I’m still not 100% and still in denial that my first true love (dance) was taken from me suddenly.
This year, it’s extra rough. Being I’m back at physical therapy again for my other knee (read “Heavy Heart,” post for details), it’s difficult to feel like any progress has been made. It’s tough to feel like you’re still fighting the same battle. And it’s tough to stay determined and keep fighting to win that battle when you’ve been stuck at a standstill for so long.
But, four years later, as I continue to deal with all of this, I’m trying to see it all in a new light, with a new perspective.
You see, one of my biggest letdowns from this whole situation was that I never knew my full potential (my surgery was only a year after I had switched studios and began getting proper training). I don’t know how far I could have went with dance. I don’t know where it could have taken me. I won’t ever know what my full capabilities were, and that has the power to keep me up at night.
I still have the potential to do so much. I have the capability to be capable of so much. One chapter may have ended, but the book itself is far from it.
Potential is an awful thing to wonder about, in any circumstance. But throwing away potential is far worse.
So, with a new perspective, here’s my realization – life happens. We get dealt a bad hand here and there. But sometimes, the only way to realize your full potential with one aspect, can only be seen when another aspect is cut off.
So my lovely readers – I offer to you the same mantra I repeat to myself, “Trust life.”
For me, this entire situation stings. And as time passes, the burn seems to intensify. But buried under all these emotions is trust that the potential I could have had with dance, is not nearly as much potential the universe sees in me with something else.
As you can tell, when I said four years ago my entire life was altered, I did not mean strictly physically.