The other day my friend asked me, “Why do some people have it, and some people don’t?”
I responded with, “Have what?”
She replied “IT!”
I said “It? What is it?”
Her response was “Everything!”
After some clarification I finally caught on to what she was saying (and then had sirens go off in my head thinking about blogging about this….writer problems). She was referring to that “it factor” that some people seem to just have, while others strive to simply make it appear that they have it.
It. The “it factor.” Can you pinpoint what it really is? What makes certain people so compelling? What makes certain people seem to just command the room? What makes certain people capable of just having it all?
Is it luck? Are people born lucky and unlucky? Is it a matter of fate that distributes who gets the lucky factor, and who gets the unlucky factor of life? Is it based on a past life? Is it based on your family?
Is it confidence? Is that only sprinkled over some people’s destiny? Is that based off of experiences? Are those experiences only given to certain people, so those certain people can have that confidence?
Is it good acting skills? Is it all about acting like you’ve got it all together? Is it all about seeming to know every detail about everything? Is it acting like you’re the greatest thing since the napkin?
Is it appearance? Is it based on looks? Is it based on how well you dress? How put together your make up is? How perfect your hair is?
Is it all of the above? Is it everything all combined into one?
After a lot of thought, I formed my opinion on what exactly that “it factor” is…
I think the “it factor” is different to each of us. I think it’s a quality we feel we don’t possess. So when we see someone else that seemingly has the world on a silver platter, we figure it’s because they have that one quality we don’t. It’s a defense mechanism for ourselves so we don’t have to feel like we either were just short of achieving something or that we were undeserving. Truth be told, we’re all big crybabies.
You see, the “it factor” is a mental game as well. We focus on that one quality we don’t have, rather than realizing all the qualities we do have. So, no the “it factor” is not something you’re born with. It isn’t based on luck. It isn’t based on confidence. It isn’t based on good acting skills. It isn’t based on appearance. It isn’t everything rolled up into one. It is simply based on your attitude and your perspective.
Life is not a game of tag. No one is going to tap you on the shoulder and say “You’re it!” You’ve got to realize your own “it factor.” It’s there, we all have “it.” We’re just simply too pessimistic to choose to see “it” and we fail to embrace “it.”
So finally, I guess my answer to my friend is that we’ve all got “it.” Yeah, that’s it!